How to get anything done

I was reading http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=336
today and it inspired me to write the following.

How To Get Anything Done.

1. Remember what it is that you have to do.

2. Sit at computer.

3. Remember that you need to do some pen-and-paper work before using the computer.

4. Go to bedroom.

5. Turn fan on.

6. Turn radio up.

7. You don't like what is on the radio. Locate a CD.

8. It is scratched. Find another CD.

9. You stood on that CD some time ago. Find another CD.

10. Take the clutter of your radio.

11. Stare at the clutter.

12. Remember that you were putting on a CD.

13. Put the clutter down.

14. Put the CD on.

15. Press play.

16. Change your CD player from radio to CD mode.

17. Press play.

18. That wasn't play, that was stop.

19. Press play, this time with better aim.

20. Select track.

21. Oh yeah, I was in here to find a pen and paper.

22. Search for pen and paper.

23. Find at least 5 interesting articles that you've printed from the internet. Read them.

24. PEN AND PAPER

25. Complete a drawing that you started yesterday.

26. PEN AND PAPER

27. Find pen and paper.

28. Go out to kitchen to work. Hit hand on door on the way.

29. Examine bruised hand.

30. Look up bruise formation on the internet,

31. Look up half a dozen other topics on the internet.

32. What the hell am I doing on the internet?

33. Get back to work.

34. Remember that you need a pencil.

35. There is one in the piano stool. Go and get it.

36. It is broken.

37. There is a sharpener on top of the piano stool.

38. Go and get the sharpener.

39. Sharpen the pencil.

40. Remove pencil shavings from your fingertips while wondering how on earth they got there in the first place.

41. Get back to work. Again.

42. Have a drink.

43. Back to work.

44. Pace around the room.

45. Back to work.

46. Another drink.

47. Back to work.

48. Open fridge. Realise that you are not thirsty, and that you were not thirsty when you had the other 2 drinks.

49. Open and shut the fridge a few times.

50. Back to work.

51. Realise that staring at the back of your hand probably won't help to get this work done.

52. No, not even if you wiggle your fingers.

53. Biting your thumb probably won't be much help either.

54. Back to work. This time it gets finished.

55. Turn on computer.

56. What the hell am I doing on the internet again?

57. Oh well. Visit all your usual sites.

58. Look at the time. Panic.

59. I have to stop these automatic responses.

60. Twitch at the thought of breaking one of your routines.

61. Open Word.

62. Go and get dressed.

63. Where are all my shirts?

64. Now, go and get dressed.

65. Find another 5 interesting articles that you've printed from the internet. Read them.

66. Get dressed.

67. Locate hairbrush.

68. Find another 5 interesting articles that you've printed from the internet. Read them.

69. Brush hair.

70. Back to the computer.

71. ... I'm on the internet again, aren't I?

72. Swear at your frontal lobes.

73. Didn't we say before that biting our thumb gets no work done?

74. Start typing.

75. Put on music.

76. Play the same 10 seconds 10 times in a row.

77. Wonder how on earth you passed school.

78. Wonder how on earth it is possible that you are not only passing university, but doing well.

79. Get back to work, finish.